Greetings and Welcome to DiligentlyGraced.com!! I’m Elle and I am the driving force behind this blog. The Lord gave me the vision for my blog a while ago, and it wasn’t until I truly accepted the calling on my life that I was able to move forward and be obedient. I hope you enjoy the posts and are able to have real encounters with God via my writing.
My posts will come from a real life perspective. I’m far from being the perfect Christian, but my life and my experiences have given me the opportunity to LOVE Jesus the way that I do now!! Thus, here is my testimony:
I a down home southern girl, my favorite foods are grits and macaroni and cheese, and they both MUST be cheesy. I’m from the greatest city in America, Chattanooga, TN, the home of R&B sensation Usher Raymond, home of actor Samuel L. Jackson, and the home of former WNBA player Venus Lacy, and if you are up on current Hip Hop, up and coming hip hop artist Isaiah Rashad is also from my hometown. Whoop whoop!
I grew up in a Presbyterian church, a church that literally had 5 youth, and 25 adults, very small. Being that the church was so small, we did not have an active youth and young adult ministry, so around 6th grade, I became a member of Resurrected Baptist Church. This church offered me so much as it related to Christian growth, Christian friendships, and a youth ministry. I left Resurrected when I moved to Birmingham, AL to attend Miles College. Miles is a private Christian school via the connection of the Christian Methodist Episcopal Church.
At Miles, I was far from the good Christian girl that initially went away for school. I was not only in the world, but I was also of the world. I knew Jesus, but my relationship with him had been twice removed. I had no care in the world! I went to church MAYBE once a month and that was for college Sunday to get a free meal. The struggle was ALL THE WAY real! Though I was doing what Elle Breeze wanted to do, I thank the Lord for his grace and mercy and covering me like he did!
Moving forward, I fell in love with a fellow Milean and I got pregnant, and we got married. Our son was born in January 2009, the greatest gift he and I could have ever asked for. In 2008, just prior to giving birth, I put my life on hold to be an amazing wife and mother. I worked my butt off for my family to be comfortable. I did what I had to do for my family, worked 2 jobs, took online classes, just trying to be the woman my family needed me to be.
In August 2011, my roller coaster of a marriage went from bad to worst. My ex husband drug me from the back bedroom of our home to the front door using choice words and making sure I knew I was not welcomed in OUR home. So I left, and I never looked back. I was hurt and I blamed the fail of our marriage solely on him. I would say over and over, we wouldn’t be divorced if he never put his hands on me.
During my separation and as I began the divorce, the Lord sent me an angel by the name of Danielle. She made sure that I was in church each and every Sunday. Though I was physically at church with her, mentally, I was tapped out. I was so far away from God that idea of a relationship with him was merely a thought. I doubted him! I felt like God had failed me! How could a woman so active in ministry, a woman that LOVED to serve, be so hurt and torn down by a man of God, a minister? I felt as though the Lord allowed his son, a man that proclaimed and preached his word to hurt me mentally, physically, financially and emotionally. How could I trust a God that would allow me to endure so much pain.
Long story short, I continued to go to church with Danielle, but while worshiping with her, my God-sister Taz invited me to her church 18 MILLION times! So finally, I went and worshiped with Taz. We walked into the church, and Ordained Praise was singing ‘Pulling Me Through’, and I lost it! The song ministered to me like I have never been ministered to before. Pastor Ware got up an preached and I cried the entire sermon, it was like he knew my story and was speaking directly to me. From that day forward, I was ready to let go and move forward in my life. It was time for me, Lauren Hodges, to reevaluate my life, my friendships, my role in the failure of my marriage, my parenting, pretty much I was re-evaluating, EVERYTHING.
Thus, I had to truly realize that my ex husband was not the ONLY reason that my marriage failed. Though domestic violence was why I left, my marriage failed the day we said ‘I do’. God was not in our marriage. We attended church together, but we rarely prayed together, we never studied together, we only put the kingdom first when we were experiencing hell within our relationship. Beyond the things that I saw that WE were not doing collectively, my re-evaluation showed me my flaws as well. I could have handled situations differently, I could have been a better wife in several aspects, I learned that I am not a good communicator, but I lived, and I learned, and I corrected the issues on my behalf. Most of all, I realized and took responsibility for MY part in the fail of our marriage.
……… TO BE CONTINUED!!!
Diligently Graced 